Then and Now

by Kyle Donovan

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1.
One distant star on the interstate Guides me back home to you And hours of sleepless audio books With breaks when the silence cuts through Oh and all I know Is the moan of the engine My fading attention And tail lights so cold they've turned blue Am I asleep at the wheel Dreaming of you? A restless young man knows no limits To speed or fatigue on the road Just millions of lines and tiny white signs Cautioning me take it slow Oh and all I know Is the moan of the engine My fading attention And tail lights so cold they've turned blue Am I asleep at the wheel Dreaming of you? Dreaming of summertime sidewalks And porch morning coffee The scent of our dogwood tree And your chestnut hair tangled 'round us As we fade off to sleep Well, I made it through most of Nebraska Now morning is coming around Your star has been setting; my compass is lost But I'm only an hour from town Oh and all I know Is the moan of the engine My fading attention And tail lights so cold they've turned blue Am I asleep at the wheel Dreaming of you? Oh, am I asleep at the wheel Dreaming of you?
2.
This is how it feels to fall in love Slow dance without a sound and let our tender faces touch The wrinkles of my life now pressed to yours If this is love, I’ve never loved before Down winding roads, through the pastures, in the early summer rain I met you in a daydream; you invited me to play We found refuge in the farmhouse, in porch-side melodies The way you held the banjo and you sang your song to me This is how it feels to fall in love Slow dance without a sound and let our tender faces touch The wrinkles of my life now pressed to yours If this is love, I’ve never loved before Up on Sugar Mountain, we set up a ragged little camp Close enough to water, we could all go down and dance I took you by the hand, we watched the moon fly overhead And in its quiet, crescent glow, you took me to your bed This is how it feels to fall in love Slow dance without a sound and let our tender faces touch The wrinkles of my life now pressed to yours If this is love, I’ve never loved before We drove down to the ocean just to crash into the waves Like dogs, we ran on jet black sand and rolled away the day Oh, and when the tide receded and the sun was getting low We packed it up and sang the whole way home This is how it feels to fall in love Slow dance without a sound and let our tender faces touch The wrinkles of my life now pressed to yours If this is love, I’ve never loved before Oh, if this is love, I’ve never loved before Oh, if this is love, I’ve never loved before
3.
Then and Now 04:15
I saw you on a poster when I was twenty-three The next day when we met, I knew you saw something in me So we traveled ‘round the country singing perfect harmony And we got close, swapping secrets in our sleep I loved you then, I love you now The only way that I know how It might feel wrong or incomplete But my heart, my heart could never miss a beat I saw you kiss my brother when I was twenty-five They say, “turn the other cheek,” so I pretended not to mind But later on, that summer, when I saw you side by side I knew I’d rather be alone than live that lie I loved you then, I love you now The only way that I know how It might feel wrong or incomplete But my heart, my heart could never miss a beat Oh, I left you both there, standing in the dark All the colors of the night that filled my heart I left you both without a single word If I’m honest, I wanted it to hurt I saw you hit the big time when I was twenty-nine A record deal in la-la land, it almost made me cry Well I knew that you deserved it, and after all this time All I felt was love and joy and pride I loved you then, I love you now The only way that I know how It might feel wrong or incomplete But my heart, my heart could never miss a beat My heart could never miss a beat
4.
Be a Boy 03:28
When I was just a child, almost off to sleep My mother sang a simple song to me And when the room was still again, I reached out for her gentle hand And asked her what it means to be in love And she said, "Son, someday you'll be a man - maybe then, you'll understand What it means to fall for someone else, to laugh, and cry, and lose yourself Deep inside the gaze of honest lovers But while you've got this young and tender joy, My son, be a boy” One morning by the riverside, fishing in the shallow tide, My father taught me how to tie a line And when we cast back out again, I reached out for his weathered hand, And asked him what it means to be a father And he said, “Son, someday you’ll be a man - maybe then, you’ll understand What it means to work and earn your keep To cook and clean and yearn for sleep For long and restless hours at the cradle But while you’ve got this young and tender joy, My son, be a boy” Inside a quiet waiting room, the walls glowed a fluorescent blue And we waited all together for the news And when the mood was getting tense, I reached out for my parents’ hands And asked them what it means to lose someone And they said, “Son, someday you’ll be a man - maybe then, you’ll understand What it means to lose the ones you love To feel the grief of everyone Who’s lost a friend or lover in this life But while you’ve got this young and tender joy My son, be a boy”
5.
Aftertaste 03:15
You sent me off a cliff, first time I saw your eyes I left the ground beneath me when you put your hand in mine I wanted you too much To be held and to be touched By a loving hand, a warm embrace The sweet and salty aftertaste of you You and me The dream of what we could have been You sent me off the edge; I fell into the sky My inhibitions left behind, I never wondered why I wanted you too much To be held and to be touched By a loving hand, a warm embrace The sweet and salty aftertaste of you You and me The dream of what we could have been I wanted you too much To be held and to be touched By a loving hand, a warm embrace The sweet and salty aftertaste of you You and me The dream of what we could have been Oh, the aftertaste of you You and me The dream of what we could have been Oh, the aftertaste of you You and me The dream of what we could have been
6.
I’ve got love on my side, I’ve got time to preside Over heaven and Earth and the dirt I’ve got green fields and air, I’ve got daylight to spare I’ve got love on my side and I’m sure Slow it down now, take a deep breath Hear my heart beating inside my chest When you wake in the morn’, take your time, keep me warm Rest your eyes for a few minutes more I’ve got love on my side, I’ve got time to preside Over heaven and Earth and the dirt I’ve got green fields and air, I’ve got daylight to spare I’ve got love on my side and I’m sure Sound asleep, lay your head down Not a peep, can’t you tell, I’ll be ‘round When you drift off at night, and I’m holding you tight One last glimpse, ‘til I turn off the light I’ve got love on my side, I’ve got time to preside Over heaven and Earth and the dirt I’ve got green fields and air, I’ve got daylight to spare I’ve got love on my side and I’m sure I’ve got love on my side, I’ve got time to preside Over heaven and Earth and the dirt I’ve got green fields and air, I’ve got daylight to spare I’ve got love on my side and I’m sure
7.
My old man says he’s moving on; the house is up for sale His bags are packed, it’s time at last to hit the dusty trail He’s coming out to Colorado, leaving it behind He says I ought to come back home and see it one last time Oh, the old wood door and the hardwood floor And the landing by the stairs The dim lit hall and the bedroom walls That never felt so bare Touchdown hometown safe and sound, my feet are on the ground My head’s still swimming in the clouds; it never made it down A yellow porchlight guides us home, a beacon through the dark And when we step inside, I feel a flutter in my heart Oh, the old wood door and the hardwood floor And the landing by the stairs The dim lit hall and the bedroom walls That never felt so bare Daybreak comes and wakes me from the sleep I barely knew A hazy shade of golden light, the sky a baby blue I know this bed, this comforter I’ve held since I was small And for the first time in my life, I wish I’d never left at all Oh, the old wood door and the hardwood floor And the landing by the stairs The dim lit hall and the bedroom walls That never felt so bare This place was safety, love, and strength, and it held my secrets, too But now, it’s time to go; it’s time to leave this empty room My old man’s hands are shaking as he locks it one last time He holds me in the driveway and I struggle not to cry The memories we made inside, the lessons that we learned It’s someone else’s time to know; it’s someone else’s turn
8.
Free me from this isolation Free me from this pain Free me from the fear that we will never love again Break these chains around me, honey Come and set me free My heart can’t stand to stick around and wait for you to leave This place and these arms That held you close and kept you warm The west coast calls you home And I know how the rest of the story goes Spare me all your pity, darlin’ Spare me all your grief I only wanted to be whole, now I only want relief Break these chains around me, honey Come and set me free My heart can’t stand to stick around and wait for you to leave This place and these arms That held you close and kept you warm The west coast calls you home And I know how the rest of the story goes So go Go in peace Go on now Without me
9.
Over the river, just after nightfall A lullaby echoes to me Sweet is the sound of a mother’s embrace Her honey-dipped melody She sings, “Hush, my darling; there’s nothing to fear Your father and mother will always be near Oh, no matter the distance, when we are apart, We will always be here in your heart.” Fading to sleep, the sound in my ears A lullaby ringing clear My love presses closer and deep in our dream Her gentle soprano I hear She sings, “Hush, my darling; there’s nothing to fear Your lover and partner will always be near Oh, no matter the distance, when we are apart, I will always be here in your heart.” Years down the line, sipping sweet summertime Our children play in the yard In through the window, a voice through the trees My mother’s song touches me She sings, “Hush, my darling; there’s nothing to fear Your son and your daughter will always be near Oh, no matter the distance, when you are apart, They will always be here in your heart Oh, no matter the distance, when we are apart, We will always be here in your heart.”

about

Over two hundred generous patrons pledged their support via Kickstarter to make this album possible.

credits

released August 30, 2019

Written, recorded, engineered, mixed, and mastered by Kyle Donovan.
Album Artwork by Nikki Nichols (nikkinicholsart.com).

A number of audio engineers contributed their time and expertise to the creation of this album, including: James Tuttle, Bret Batterman, Daniel Herman, and Leor Manelis.

Featured musicians include:
Bonnie & Taylor Sims, Pete Damore, Antonio Lopez, Monica Marie, LaBonte, Colin Robison, Daniel Herman, Jason Bertone, Kate Farmer, Michelle Pietrafitta, Glenn Taylor, and Leor Manelis.

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Kyle Donovan Boulder, Colorado

Kyle Donovan's latest album won critical acclaim from folk festivals and competitions across the nation. The storytelling troubadour has been crafting vivid vignettes, capturing moments from everyday life to tell stories of love, loss, family, and the passage of time for a new album called Then and Now, released in 2019. ... more

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